Who needs sex toys when you’re in a relationship? Right? Wrong. They say variety is the spice of life. So when it comes to your sex life, spicing things up with a bit of variety can’t hurt. I’m not saying go out and have sex with anyone willing, I’m saying explore the options for you and your partner to increase variety, and increase the spice, through the enormous range of sex toys on the market today.
Long gone are the days when sex toys were used only for solo masturbation. It would be uncommon for my partner and I not to use a sex toy at least as part of foreplay. Adding sex toys to the main game is just another challenge accepted.
Besides, getting out of your comfort zone, and exploring your sexual boundaries, even with the simplest of toys, will no doubt introduce you to a whole new world of toe-curling, mind-blowing pleasure.
So what does this mean? Do I have to have become best mates with the vibrator lurking in the top drawer, just in case I can’t make the earth move for her? Not at all. Start the process by talking about different things you might like to try. Share the experience rather than having your own discreet liaisons. Head on over to Bed Buddies adult shop and buy your sex toys together. It has been said that couples who share this experience become much more comfortable communicating on all manner of subjects.
Pick out 3 or 4 products that you both agree on, not forgetting the essential lubricant, toy cleaner, and condoms if you need them.
Sex toys are by far the safest way to add adventure, and some kinkiness to your sex life, without the risks of endangering your relationship, which is possible if you spice things up by including other people into the mix.
1. Doggie Style
Let’s face it, men in particular love doggie style. It’s the position that gives you the best access for the deepest penetration, while also allowing the best control, the least amount of physical strain and exertion, and an amazing view thrown in for good measure. Unfortunately, not all women find this position as pleasurable, as there is limited stimulation of the clitoris.
The solution is a vibrating penis ring or cockring. Wearing a penis ring on the base of the penis allows the ring to come in contact with the clitoris. It’s important to note here that a grinding motion instead of a thrusting motion will gain the most contact for the clitoris, which is essential for her to achieve an orgasm. The vibrations coming from the ring will be sure to tip her over the edge, and they feel pretty damn good for him too.
Another option with doggie style is to include a vibrating butt plug. Just remember to go gently, and use plenty of lube. Bed Buddies has a great article on anal sex, which is particularly handy if anal sex is a new thing for you. Like the vibrating cockring, the vibrations enhance the pleasure for both, however, in this instance, she will get more stimulation from the vibrations coming through the proximity of the penis on the g-spot rather than the clitoris.
2. Oral Sex
You would be hard-pressed to find anyone who didn’t like receiving oral sex. The opportunities that present themselves to take oral sex to the next level with sex toys means this one is definitely going to be one of her favourites. Clitoral stimulators, and vibrators used in conjunction with your tongue and fingers will have her achieving an explosive orgasm in no time at all.
And for him? A bullet vibrator to stimulate the penis or even the anus would enhance any fellatio. How about adding a blindfold so he is robbed of his sight, which enhances the sense of touch, making the vibration even more sensual and exciting.
Another option is to consider either vibrating or non-vibrating nipple clamps, or a feather tickler to tickle the nipples while going down.
Traditionally this position is a favourite for her, as she can straddle him like she is on a horse, and ride him to take full reign over the movement, maximising every contact for her pleasure by controlling the thrusting to hit her g-spot and run the full length of his penis, or taking him deep and grinding against his body for clitoral stimulation.
The clitoral stimulation can also be taken care of by using a small bullet vibrator, or even a wand vibrator, maintaining that stimulation for the duration of the ride, instead of only on the deepest penetration point, providing stimulation of the g-spot and clitoris the whole time. This works for both classic cowgirl, squatting cowgirl, and reverse cowgirl.
4. LD Sex
Although not technically a position, the use of technology to stimulate your partner from long distance (LD) has progressed 10-fold in recent years. There is now a range of sex toys that can be controlled using a phone app, so no matter where you are, so long as you have mobile service, you can stimulate your partner from around the globe, or simply just across the room.
Although the most traditional and least imaginative position, it’s one of the best positions for increased intimacy, as you can maintain eye contact, kiss, and embrace. In addition, it gives you both what you desire, good penetration for him, and good clitoral stimulation for her.
How about ramping up the stimulation with a vibrating penis ring, or cockring. Just like with the doggie style, a vibrating penis ring can increase the stimulation of the clitoris. This can be further enhanced by him grinding instead of thrusting, which takes less energy and can prolong his ejaculation too, thus providing longer and more enjoyable sex for both.
No matter what sex toys you choose, keeping the spice in your sex life will reap rewards for your relationship long term.