Can Sex Toys Recharge Your Relationship?

Every couple will go through their fair share of ups and downs during their relationship. Some will survive, others not. So, what can you do to increase the chances of your relationship making it?

Before you get to the point of needing a relationship counsellor, or worse calling it quits, consider the following:


1. Communicate:

Communication is the most important part of any relationship. We communicate at work, with our friends, and with complete strangers, throughout the course of every day. Yet communicating with our partner can be something we take for granted and forget to put much time or effort into.

Becoming complacent about our relationship is the first step to a rocky road down the track. Consider each day as if it were the first with your partner, and remember that you don’t know how many more days you have left to make the most of the gift that has been presented to you.

Sometimes the hard conversations are only hard because you make them hard in your mind before you even start. Be brave, take the leap, and make communication the number one priority in your relationship.

A simple “I love you” could be all it takes to change your partner’s day. Do you say it often enough, with sincerity and follow through with actions?


2. Treat your partner like they are the most important thing in your life:

A kind word, a gentle touch, a simple kiss, and holding hands, all small but significant methods of communicating just how important your partner is to you. Respecting their views, helping them with things they see as obstacles in their lives, and going out of your way to make them feel special (and not just on their birthdays), are all ways you can make your partner feel like the king or queen they should.


3. Share the load:

At various times in our lives, we will have challenges presented to us. Whether they are health related, financial in nature, or relationship based, understanding that the team effort required for a relationship to make it through the rough patch doesn’t always mean a 50/50 split. Sometimes you have to step up and carry a bit extra, as your partner may be in a bad place, and just need you to be there for them. Likewise, when the chips are down for you, your partner will step up and carry the load while you regain your strength. At the end of the day, it all works out in the wash.


4. Date your partner:

Bring back dating. Remember when you first met, how much you were invested in spending time with your partner, and how accommodating you were? Why did it stop? Bring it back I say. “But the kids take up so much time” or “there’s just not enough time these days” are just a couple of the lame excuses. Consider this, it is infinitely harder and more expensive to find new customers for a business than it is to nurture the ones you already have. The same applies to relationships. The small cost of taking your partner on a date is some time and a few dollars every so often and is like maintenance for your relationship. Just like cars need a regular service, your relationship needs a service periodically as well.


5. Spice up your sex life with Sex Toys:

Sex toys can add a lot to your sex life, but can they help with your relationship? Of course they can. Some couples may find the idea a little confronting, or awkward, however many couples these days use sex toys as a marital aid to turn up the heat in the bedroom.


A recent survey of 1000 men and women conducted to understand how sex toys affect their relationships collected some interesting results.

According to the study, 82% of couples make a regular and consistent effort to keep their sex life alive in the bedroom, with 52% of couples citing that the use of sex toys has made this easier than simply trying to change up the routine.

The study also found that almost 50% of people are using sex toys to liven up their sex lives and keep things exciting and fresh. For me, in this day and age, this statistic seems low. Sex toys have become commonplace in the top drawers of bedside tables. Before we enter relationships, we are already experimenting with our sexuality, and not only are sex toys a great way to learn about our bodies and what we like and don’t like, they are usually a regular companion in the bedroom long before a human companion comes along.

An interesting observation in the study showed that almost 50% of couples who use vibrating sex toys together reported that they find their communication more free flowing and more open about all subjects in their relationship, while only 29% of those who don’t use vibrators could claim the same level of openness in their communication (see point one above).

In addition to the increase in general communication, many of the couples who use vibrating sex toys have no issues with giving directions to their partners in the bedroom, while less than 20% of those who don’t use vibrating sex toys are comfortable giving directions to their partners when it comes to sex.

Interestingly, according to the survey, buying a sex toy together is linked to more communication between partners. This makes sense, in that if you are comfortable talking about what it is you do and don’t want in the bedroom, or what you desire in a sex toy, you are going to have open communication channels for pretty much anything else. 51% of those who bought sex toys together regularly talk about sex, whereas only 28% of those who have not bought a sex toy together could make the same claim.

62% of couples believe that the best way to make things more exciting in the bedroom is to spend more time on foreplay. This is where sex toys have the most benefit, as the focus is on creating arousal and stimulating precise parts of the body to prepare for the main event, and this is exactly what sex toys are for.

So in a nutshell, Sex Toys can contribute to recharging your relationship, however they probably shouldn't be relied upon as the only solution. A good balance of the 5 options above will always win over just choosing one or two. 

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