The Essential Handbook for Beginners Exploring Sex Toys

If you're ready to introduce a new sex toy into your life, whether it's your first or you've dabbled before, you've come to the right place. The market is brimming with an array of exciting accessories that can enhance both self-pleasure and partnered sex. But how do you choose the perfect toy for you? This comprehensive guide to sex toys for beginners will equip you with the knowledge you need to make an informed decision and ensure an enjoyable experience.

What are the benefits of using sex toys?

Using sex toys can bring a range of benefits, such as increased pleasure and intimacy, exploration of new sensations and fantasies, improved sexual health, and the ability to discover what you enjoy and communicate better with your partner. Using sex toys during foreplay, oral sex, anal play or intercourse are all opportunities to take your sexual experiences to the next level.

Let's start with the basics: materials, size, and the all-important lubricant. These factors play a crucial role in your toy selection process.

Essential Considerations: Materials, Size, and Lubricant

Before diving into the exciting world of sex toys, it's important to understand a few key elements.


Sex toys come in various materials, and what they're made of significantly impacts their feel, scent, taste, and compatibility with different lubricants. It's essential to choose a body-safe material, particularly for toys that come into contact with sensitive areas.


If you're interested in insertable or penetrable toys, selecting the right size for your or your partner's body is crucial. Understanding the measurements helps ensure a comfortable and pleasurable experience.


Lubrication is your best friend when it comes to sex toys. It enhances pleasure and comfort. Different types of lubricants work best with specific toy materials, so it's essential to choose the right one for optimal enjoyment.

Now that you have a grasp of the basics, let's embark on your sex toy journey with confidence. Let's get started!

Exploring Sex Toy Materials

The materials used in sex toy manufacturing can be categorized as porous or non-porous. Understanding the distinctions between these materials is vital for safe and enjoyable play.

Porous Materials

These softer, squishier materials can be challenging to clean and may require the use of a condom. Although they are often more affordable, some may contain phthalates, a chemical that certain manufacturers have phased out due to safety concerns.

Non-Porous Materials

High-quality materials like ABS plastic, glass, and high-grade silicone fall into the non-porous category. These materials are easier to clean and offer superior hygiene. They are generally more expensive but provide greater peace of mind.

Common Materials For Sex Toys

A large proportion of sex toys on the market are made from the following materials:

ABS Plastic:

Feel: Hard, glossy, with a possible velvet touch coating

Smell: Odorless

Taste: Tasteless

Compatible Lubricants: All

Pros: Non-porous, latex-free, phthalate-free, potentially waterproof

Cons: Does not flex with the body, may provide overly intense sensations for some users


Feel: Smooth

Pros: Non porous, phthalate free, latex free, suitable for sensitive skin types, waterproof, extremely durable, perfect for temperature play

Cons: Can be heavy, does not flex with the body

Jelly Rubber:

Feel: Smooth and flexible

Smell: Rubber-like

Taste: Slightly chemical

Pros: Inexpensive, flexible

Cons: Porous, difficult to clean, may possibly contain phthalates, not suitable for latex allergies


Feel: Smooth, with variable weight (light or heavy)

Pros: Non-porous, waterproof, durable, phthalate-free, latex-free, suitable for temperature play

Cons: Does not flex with the body, may contain nickel (potential sensitivity), can be heavy


Feel: Hard and smooth or soft and lifelike

Smell: Plastic-like

Taste: Plastic-like

Pros: Affordable, durable

Cons: Can be porous, may contain phthalates, may deteriorate over time


Feel: Silky smooth, density ranges from soft to firm

Compatible Lubricants: Water based only

Pros: Non porous, phthalate free, latex free, easy to clean, transmits vibrations effectively, warms quickly, durable, potentially waterproof, flexible, medical-grade formulations suitable for sensitive skin

Cons: Incompatible with silicone-based lubricants

TPR/TPE Plastic:

Feel: Smooth, flexible, and lifelike

Smell: Similar to nail polish

Taste: Rubber-like

Compatible Lubricant: Water-based lubricant

Pros: Less porous than other realistic-feel materials, phthalate-free, latex-free, durable

Cons: Slightly porous, difficult to clean, may tear easily

Understanding Sizes When It Comes To Sex Toys

The dimensions of your sex toy is another important consideration, particularly for insertable or penetrable toys. Visual representations on websites may not accurately depict the toy's dimensions, so it's important to pay attention to the provided measurements.

Here's a breakdown of the numbers:

  • Length: Distance from top to bottom of the toy
  • Insertable Length: Maximum length that can be inserted into the body
  • Width (Diameter): Distance from one side to the other
  • Insertable Width: Maximum width that can be inserted into the body
  • Girth (Circumference): Distance around the widest part of the toy

Remember, finding the right size for your body ensures a more comfortable and pleasurable experience.

The Importance of Lubricant

Lubricant is an essential companion for your sex toys, enhancing both comfort and pleasure. Here are two main types of lubricants to consider:

Water-based Lubricants:

Water-based lubes are generally compatible with most sex toy materials.

They are easy to wash off from yourself and your toys.

Water-based lubes are suitable for vaginal sex but not ideal for anal sex unless specifically designed for it.

Silicone-based Lubricants:

Silicone-based lubes offer long-lasting lubrication and create a smooth, slippery layer on whatever it is applied to, most often skin or toy.

They are great for anal sex and aquatic play.

Keep in mind that silicone-based lubricants require washing off with soap and water and should not be used with silicone toys.

Adding lubricant to your playtime can enhance your experience, making it more enjoyable and comfortable. It's a win-win!

Getting the Most Out of Your Toys

Remember, sex toys are meant to be toys – they're all about having fun! To make the most of your new sex toy, here are six top tips:

Keep your toys clean

Always clean your toys before and after use as instructed by the manufacturer. Typically, warm water and mild, fragrance-free soap do the trick.

Use toys as intended

It is important to read, understand, and adhere to the manufacturer's instructions for safe and optimal use. Pay attention to storage guidelines as well as this will prolong the life of your toy.

Take your time and don't force anything

Using a new sex toy can be nerve-wracking, so it's essential to take your time. Warming up manually before introducing the toy can be helpful. If using a toy on a partner, be attentive to their comfort and stop immediately if they experience pain or discomfort.

Mix and match

Don't be afraid to experiment and combine different sensations. Mixing external and internal stimulation, for example, can be highly pleasurable.

Be aware of waterproof limitations

Not all toys are waterproof, so be sure to check their specifications before taking them into the bath or shower.

Splash-proof does not mean waterproof, rather it can be splashed with water but not immersed in water.

Perform regular maintenance

Regularly inspect your sex toys for signs of wear and tear, such as chips, rips, or deterioration. Replace your toys when necessary to ensure continued safety and enjoyment.

Choosing the Right Vibrator

Vibrators are incredibly popular sex toys, providing sensations that manual stimulation cannot replicate. They come in various shapes and sizes, offering different levels of intensity. When choosing a vibrator, consider the following:

Type of Stimulation

Vibrators can be used for both external or internal stimulation, and in some cases, can do both at the same time. Deciding which type of stimulation you desire is the first step.

External Stimulation:

Bullet vibrators are precise, and intense clitoral stimulators, while massagers (wands) offer broader, deeper stimulation for the clitoris and vulva.

Internal Stimulation:

Classic vibrators have a smooth, cylindrical shaft and rounded head, ideal for beginners. Realistic vibrators resemble penises and often offer vibrating functions with different vibration modes and different intensity levels. G-spot vibrators have a curved shaft and bulbous head, targeting the sensitive G-spot.

Both Internal And External Stimulation Simultaneously:

Rabbit Vibrators are perfect toys to provide both internal and external stimulation simultaneously, as they provide not only the shaft for penetration but also a nub to apply stimulation to the clitoris.

Couples Sex Toys:

Yes, you can use sex toys with your partner, and there is a couple's sex toys section on the Bed Buddies main menu. A Couples vibrator, for example, is designed for both partners' pleasure and is a great addition to partnered play. Consider options like wearable vibrators for clitoral stimulation as well as vaginal stimulation, or vibrating cock rings for enhanced sensations. A butt plug can also be considered a couples toy, as either partner can wear it, and a vibrating butt plug can provide stimulation to the prostate, or enhance the sensations when the penis is inserted in the vagina during intercourse.

These toys can just as easily be used for solo personal pleasure and masturbation. Either way, sex toys are a great way to improve your sex life.

Exploring BDSM

BDSM can be an exciting exploration of power dynamics and new sensations. However, it's essential to prioritize safety, consent, and open communication. Here are a few tips for beginners:

Establish Roles

BDSM often involves dominant (dom), submissive (sub), or switch dynamics. Discuss and agree upon roles with your partner, ensuring enthusiastic consent. Establish a safe word to use if play needs to stop immediately.

Start with Light Bondage

Incorporating light bondage into your play can be thrilling. Begin with blindfolds or hand and ankle cuffs to enhance sensory experiences. As you become more comfortable, you can gradually explore additional tools like paddles, crops, nipple stimulators, whips, and floggers.

Prioritize Aftercare

After intense BDSM scenes, both partners may experience a comedown. Establish aftercare routines to provide comfort and reassurance. This could include cuddling, preparing snacks and drinks, watching a favorite show together, or showering together.

Finding Your Perfect Sex Toy

Armed with this knowledge, you're now better equipped to find the best sex toy for your pleasure from Bed Buddies. If you have any questions or concerns, don't hesitate to reach out to our friendly team. We're here to assist you on your journey of sexual exploration and enjoyment. Happy playing!

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