The World Of Kink, An Essential Guide

If you have a desire to broaden your understanding of the complexities of the once-considered taboo realm of BDSM, this article will hopefully offer comprehensive perspectives on different types of kinks and fetishes for you.

The realm of kink and fetishes is a diverse and intriguing one, catering to various interests. For those who may not be well-versed in the intricacies of these sensual peculiarities, we have created an A-Z kink dictionary that will guide you from beginner to seasoned expert in no time!

Before delving into the subject, it is appropriate to cover the fundamentals. This includes distinguishing between kinks and fetishes, exploring the different categories of kinks, and identifying the most prevalent fetish.

Should you find yourself getting a little aroused, and your curiosity level spiking just a bit, we’ve got all the right equipment to help you explore this new side of yourself. Our bondage collection is packed with a whole bunch of bondage and BDSM toys and accessories. From bondage gear to cock rings and toys, we’ve got the enough options to keep you entertained where ever it takes your fancy, forever and a day.

However, if this is all new to you, and you're a bit unsure, or just a beginner starting out, then take your time to learn as much as you can, communicate with your partner on your growing interest, and start with some beginner style kits that contain a few simple toys like a paddle, blindfold and handcuffs. You will soon decide which of the kinks offers you the most in the way of sexual pleasure.

 

What is Kink?

Kink refers to a group of sexual activities outside of what is considered "normal" or mainstream sexual activity.

When referring to kink, we’re talking about adding a little more spice to the regular vanilla sex. It’s probably worth noting that people with a passion and interest in various kinks can still enjoy having regular vanilla sex without the need or desire to engage in any of their fetishes. It's not an essential element of intimacy, just one that can add some variety when the desire arises.

 

What is a "good" kink and what is a "bad" kink?

Let's start with bad kink. Bad kink is where there are non consensual and potentially harmful actions taken as a result of someones "obsession" over a particular sexual act or sexuality.

A good kink requires

Types of Kinks

So, what exactly is a kink? Kinks are things that get you feeling a little hot and bothered, sometimes they can manifest as desires or fantasies. If you think bondage, role-playing, blindfolds, restraints like handcuffs, spanking with whips, you're getting warm.

While we’ve covered a whole stack of different kinks in our A-Z list, here are a coupla cheeky extras that didn’t quite make the cut...

Exhibitionism

Individuals who enjoy being seen without clothing or engaging in sexual activities derive pleasure from exhibitionism. If the idea of being watched arouses you, then putting on a display for your partner can be an exhilarating experience. Whether you engage in mutual masturbation or choose to perform alone, it can be a delightful treat for both of you.

Chastity play

Abstaining completely can sometimes be just as alluring as sex, which is why chastity play has become increasingly popular among those in the kink community. This type of play entails using a chastity device to inhibit sexual activity by locking up one's intimate parts. A variety of chastity devices are available on the market, including belts, cages and plugs, which can help intensify the passion in the bedroom.

Orgasm control

Orgasm control is a common practice in dom/sub scenarios, which often involves an element of masochism or sadomasochism. Orgasm Control can be achieved through various methods, such as orgasm denial or instructing a partner to climax on command. Chastity play may also be incorporated by employing a device to prevent someone from getting their kicks. Another approach is stimulation that brings one to the brink of satisfaction and then denying them the final release, commonly referred to as "edging". However, orgasm control can also involve voluntarily pushing someone to experience multiple climaxes until they reach their limit. Too much stimulation can sometimes lead to an overload of erotic finales, causing individuals to crave for it to stop. It's essential to recognize that there's such a thing as too much of a good thing when it comes to orgasm control.

Pregnancy kink

For many people, getting pregnant doesn’t come without knocking boots at some point early on in the picture. And while pregnancy and sex are intrinsically linked, some people take it a step further with an actual pregnancy kink. Obviously pregnant women are a pre-requisite for this type of kink.

For some, it’s the beautiful round baby bump that gets them going. For others, it’s the act of breastfeeding or lactating itself. Some people just find the whole shebang a big old turn-on.

 

What Is A Fetish And Fetishism?

Well, let's start by saying confirming that there is actually a difference between a fetish and a kink.

While a kink is something that turns people on, gets them aroused and as wet as Darwin in December, a fetish is something a person needs get the arousal happening. It can be a sexual act, an inanimate object, or even a non-sexual body part, like feet for those with a foot fetish, that controls whether or not a fetishist can get aroused enough to play the long game to the orgasm. To be specific, fetishes are more like obsessions and tend to go above and beyond your run-of-the-mill kink.

Types of fetishes

Believe it or not, there’s a ton of different fetishes around, and unless you’re a fetishist yourself there’s a pretty high probability that you have never heard of most of them. So, we’ve listed a few fetishes here to give you some idea, and maybe help you on your journey of human sexuality.

Podophilia

Undoubtedly, the most frequently encountered fetish is that of feet. Whether it's simply observing them or indulging in massaging and admiring a well-groomed pedicure, each person has their own unique predilections. Frequently, those who possess an attraction towards feet tend to have a fascination with shoes, socks and hosiery as well. Ultimately, the particulars of this inclination are determined by the individual in question.

Spectrophilia

Although ghosts and paranormal activity tend to terrify the majority of people, there are individuals known as spectrophiliacs who experience sexual attraction towards spirits or ghosts. These individuals fantasize about being intimate with a supernatural entity, kind of like that scene in Scary Movie 2. In fact, some are fortunate enough to assert that they have had sexual encounters with entities from beyond. It's worth noting that the term 'spectrophilia' is also used to describe people who derive pleasure from gazing at their reflection in mirrors, which may be confusing for some.

Kleptolagnia

This fetish, known as Kleptolagnia, is the sexual arousal from stealing. This stems from the excitement and arousal of being caught or the desire to take something that is not rightfully theirs. It is certainly an unusual kink that many people may not have heard of before.

Ursusagalmatophilia

Ursusagalmatophilia pertains to those who experience sexual arousal from teddy bears, stuffed animals, or even dressing up in animal costumes. Interestingly enough, despite its tongue-twisting name, this fetish is not as rare as one might assume. In fact, individuals who identify as plushies or furries often engage in ursusagalmatophilia.

Actirasty 

There are several fetishes related to weather that people may have. Brontophilia is the sexual arousal experienced from thunderstorms, while chionophilia is the same arousal felt from snow. Additionally, there is a fetish called actirasty that involves sexual arousal through exposure to sunlight. This fetish can potentially lead to public and outdoor sex, but it becomes actirasty when specific body parts experience physical pleasure due to the warmth of the sun, leading to a possible orgasm. Though many individuals feel happy after a long winter when the sun comes out again, actirasty takes this joy to another level by creating a sexual response.

Erotic Massage

Massages are already known for their amazing feel, but have you ever considered adding a sexual element to it? It is believed that doing so can make it one of life's most enjoyable experiences. If the mere thought of an attractive individual massaging away your stress turns you on, then you may have a fetish for erotic massages. To give it a try, all that's required is a cooperative partner, some massage oil, and understanding of each other's preferred touch. It really can't get any simpler than that!

Climacophilia

Without a doubt, certain individuals derive pleasure from the misfortunes of others. However, there are those who find satisfaction in witnessing someone tumble down a flight of stairs - they are known as climacophiliacs. It may come as a surprise, but some climacophiliacs even experience arousal when they themselves fall down the stairs. This just goes to show that there is a fetish or kink for everyone out there! As this particular fetish has the potential to cause harm, communication and consent are always essential.

On That Note...

Before engaging in any activity, all parties involved must give their approval. It's important to maintain an ongoing discussion with your partner about what you find arousing or unappealing throughout your exploration of your kink experience. We strongly suggest setting clear boundaries and limits as you go along. It's also wise to establish a safe word (or gesture if someone's mouth is occupied) so that either party can immediately halt play if it becomes overwhelming for one person. The traffic signal approach is a common method. Green means go ahead, Amber or Orange means proceed with caution, and Red means stop.

If you're interested in delving into your kinky desires, refer to our comprehensive A-Z guide to improve your knowledge of kink terminology.

A-Z of Kink

A is for Aftercare

Engaging in kink and fetish play can be much more intense than the usual vanilla type sexual encounter. While it can be incredibly enjoyable, it is crucial to remember that in any situation where one person is exerting power over another, it is necessary to check in with the submissive before, during, and after play to ensure their well-being. It's important to note that everyone is unique, so it may take some time to transition back to regular activities after an intense dom/sub experience, particularly if it involved impact play or sensory deprivation. It's essential to provide care for any areas subjected to impact play by having a soothing cream or ice on hand to ease any discomfort.

B is for BDSM

BDSM encompasses all forms of sexual behavior that may be considered unconventional or kinky sex. While pain, physical restraint, and servitude are commonly associated with BDSM, they are generally still not typically accepted in mainstream society. However, within the BDSM community, these activities are embraced as a means of mutual satisfaction, excitement, and enjoyment with the consent of all parties involved.

And in case you’ve ever wondered, the acronym BDSM can be divided into the following categories:

Bondage: 

Restricting yours or your partner’s freedom of movement by using sex toys such as handcuffs, ropes, spreader bars, and other restraints.

Discipline: 

Pre-agreed rules and punishments for the dominant partner to exert as a form of control over the submissive partner. This can be split into two types, Dominance which is the act of exerting dominance over a partner during sexual interaction or in everyday life, and Submission, which is a submissive role to the dominant partner’s rules, actions, and wishes.

Sadism: 

Obtaining pleasure from inflicting pain on others either through a physical act such as spanking, or an emotional act. 

Masochism: 

Obtaining pleasure from receiving pain either through a physical act using toys such as whips, paddles, floggers.

C is for Cuckolding

Cuckolding is a particular fetish where a partner finds sexual arousal in the idea of their significant other engaging in sexual activity with someone else. In the past, cuckolding was associated with a man being deceived and cheated on by his wife without his knowledge or consent. However, nowadays, cuckolding can refer to any partner, regardless of their gender or sexual orientation, who consents and approves of their partner having sexual relations with someone outside of their relationship.

D is for Dominance

As we mentioned earlier in relation to the letter B, dominance is a part of the kink BDSM genre. It involves a mutually agreed upon interaction where the dominant partner derives sexual pleasure from exerting control while the submissive partner willingly surrenders to being dominated. It's imperative to have consent from both parties involved, although a written contract similar to that in Fifty Shades of Grey is not necessary unless it's desired within the scenario.

E is for Electrostimulation

Electro sex, also known as electro play, electrostimulation or estim, is a kink that involves using a safe level of electrical energy to stimulate the erogenous zones and/or genitals. Since the human body contains a high percentage of water, it provides an effective conductor of electricity. When using an electro sex toy or conductive pad, the electrical current flows through the nerve cells, resulting in a pulsating and vibrating sensation.

F is for Fisting

Fisting is a kink that involves using all the fingers on one hand to penetrate and provide pleasure to an orifice. When performed vaginally, it entails penetrating the vagina with a whole hand, and the same applies to anal fisting. Vaginal and anal fisting can create a sensation of fullness that many individuals find appealing. Additionally, it can stimulate internal sweet spots such as the G-spot or P-spot. While hands and fingers are often used for fisting, there are a variety of large dildos and imitation hands specifically designed for fisting that can be used instead. It's worth noting that lube is essential for this fetish to be a success.

G is for Gagging

The act of gagging, often accomplished with a rubber ball secured around the head and placed between the teeth and lips, is an effective way to silence subs during play and elicit a sense of submission. As the sub is unable to speak, they must rely on nonverbal cues, making a safety gesture rather than a verbal command essential. Furthermore, some individuals derive pleasure from hearing their partner gag on their penis as it signifies sexual prowess. Conversely, others enjoy the sensation of gagging on a large member. Together, these two preferences create an ideal match.

H is for Humiliation

Humiliation kink comes in many forms, from gentle teasing to objectification. The act of humiliation is commonly desired by subs and can be a source of entertainment for doms. Humiliation kinks illustrate that not all BDSM acts have to have a physical element.

According to Tina Horn, sex educator and host of the podcast ‘Why Are People Into That?!’, “Intense language as a use of force can be just as intense, or even more intense, as consensually degrading physical sensations, such as impact play.”

Humiliation play can be intense for all parties involved, so it’s important to explore it gradually with an agreed safe word in place before you get stuck into it.

I is for Impact Play

Impact play encompasses a wide range of tools, from hands to whips, floggers, paddles and everything in between that can be used for slapping or spanking. It can begin with a playful swat on the peachy butt cheek during sex and evolve into more intense spankings with specialized equipment. Just like any other BDSM activity, obtaining consent and maintaining communication are crucial aspects of impact play. Therefore, it is vital to decide on a safe word before initiating play. As a spanker, it's important to target the fleshier areas like the thighs and butt rather than areas like the ribs and head to avoid damaging internal organs. It is advisable to start with your hands first to assess your strength before transitioning to specific impact play equipment.

J is for Japanese Shibari Rope Bondage

Also known as Shibari or Kinbaku, Japanese rope bondage is an incredible mix between sensual bondage and Japanese art. In Japanese ‘Shibari’ means ‘to tie decoratively’ and ‘Kinbaku’ translates to ‘tight binding’.

Japanese rope bondage requires skill and patience, so it’s usually a progression for BDSM players who are looking to evolve their bondage experience.

Traditionally, jute or hemp rope (non-stretchy) would have been used for Shibari, but nowadays softer, stretchier types of rope are commonly used.

 

K is for Klismaphilia

Here's a fun fact to add to your knowledge bank! Klismaphilia, a term of Greek origin, pertains to getting sexually aroused by enemas. Enemas or douches are devices that use water to eliminate impurities in the colon and anus. Typically, this is done as preparation for a medical procedure or to ensure a hygienic and refreshing deep cleansing experience. Although Klismaphilia primarily refers to individuals who become sexually aroused while receiving an enema, it can also apply to those who derive sexual pleasure from administering them.

 

L is for Limits

You can’t talk about kink and BDSM without having a chat about the topic of limits, particularly when dom/sub relationships are involved.

Having limits in place is absolutely essential for submissives to be able to explore their sensuality in a safe environment. It’s also super helpful for the dominant to have limits in place too, so there’s absolutely no confusion about what their sub is willing to do.

When it comes to BDSM and kink, there are often ‘soft’ and ‘hard’ limits. Soft limits are things that the sub may be interested in but they’re hesitant to explore, so it’s up to the dom to lead the way with a flexible and gradual approach.

Alternatively, hard limits refer to boundaries and rules about what a dom and sub won’t do under any circumstances. Hard limits can be dynamic and change as time goes on, which is why it’s so important to continually check-in and discuss the limits before engaging in any dom/sub scenarios.

This is where the safe word or gesture is important. The traffic signal system works well. Green and Red are hard limits go and stop, while Amber or Orange are soft limits that need to progress slowly until they become a hard limit one way or the other.

M is for Masochism

In the words of philosopher Mokokoma Mokhonoana, "masochism is the art of transforming punishments into rewards". This means that if you enjoy being spanked or experiencing humiliation, it is likely that you are a masochist. Masochism pertains to individuals who derive pleasure from their own physical or emotional pain or humiliation. In contrast, sadists are those who find satisfaction in inflicting pain or humiliation on others.

N is for Nylons

There exist numerous fascinating fetishes, and being attracted to nylon is one of them. Being aroused by nylon can encompass wearing stockings while engaging in naughty activities, tearing or ripping stockings, or even just observing someone else wearing nylon stockings.

O is for Object Sexuality

Object sexuality pertains to individuals who form profound emotional and/or romantic connections with particular non-living things or constructions. While there are no restrictions on what can be fetishized, some typical and more common sexual objects are lingerie, sex toys, and probably the most common sex dolls.

P is for Pet Play

In pet play, the roles assumed are similar to those in a dom/sub relationship, but instead of the kink typical dominant and submissive roles, they involve an 'owner' or 'trainer' and a 'pet.' The kind of pet that is played determines the scenarios involved. For instance, individuals who choose to play as domestic animals may find enjoyment in eating or drinking from a bowl on the floor. Kitten play tends to be more gentle, whereas puppy play may entail some training activities such as sitting for a treat. To enhance this type of play, several props and accessories can be utilized such as collars and leashes for puppy-style play or whips and crops if someone decides to opt for the pony route.

Q is for Quirofilia

The term quirofilia describes a particular attraction to hands, which can take the form of an admiration for fingers, a well-manicured appearance, or simply aesthetically pleasing hands. Hands possess an alluring quality due to their ability to perform various sensual acts, including the often overlooked hand job, fingering, and back massages. This kink is has a wide scope, because although quirofilia may involve more overtly sexual activities such as fisting or direct manual stimulation, some individuals with a hand fetish may derive pleasure from observing hands performing mundane tasks such as grocery shopping or household chores. While fetishes are typically associated with sexuality, the object or activity that arouses the fetishist may not necessarily have erotic connotations. For instance, washing dishes could be viewed as a chore by one person but can serve as a source of intense pleasure for someone with a hand fetish.

R is for Role Play

Engaging in kink role play often entails multiple individuals participating in a scene or fantasy, where one of the players typically assumes a dominant role over the other/s. The level of complexity in these scenarios can vary greatly, ranging from straightforward to intricate, and may involve detailed planning with scripts, props, or costumes. You may recognize some popular role play scenarios such as the boss and employee, doctor and nurse, teacher and student, or homeowner and maid.

S is for Spanking

Spanking is a technique in which an object or hand is used to strike the skin, creating a sensation and increasing circulation for heightened sensitivity. Contrary to popular belief, spanking need not always be painful and can actually enhance other pleasurable experiences. Incorporating a bit of spanking into your sensual activities can add an extra dimension of excitement. Whether you use it in roleplay scenarios, as part of a dominance and submission dynamic, or during sexual intercourse to intensify the release of endorphins, spanking can be a thrilling addition to your repertoire. However, before diving into this activity, it is imperative that you discuss it with your partner first; surprising them with a sudden strike could potentially be off-putting or even trigger past traumas. To avoid any unpleasant outcomes, ensure that there are no surprises when it comes to spanking!

T is for Trichophilia 

Trichophilia, also referred to as hair fetishism, is the erotic attraction to hair. The hair in question can be human hair—armpit, chest, pubic, head—or even animal fur, but it is most commonly human head hair. The fetish can involve touching, smelling, or looking at hair, wearing another person’s hair, or interacting with hair in different states—for example, when it is wet, cut, or plucked. It can even involve eating hair, in rare instances. Those who indulge in this fetish might have a strong preference for the type of hair that is part of their fantasy or sexual play, whether it’s a preference for red hair, tight curls, or short, cropped hair.

U is for Urophilla

Urophilia, also referred to as golden shower or wee play, is a term used for individuals who derive sexual arousal from urination. Typically, this involves either urinating on someone or having someone urinate on oneself. For beginners exploring pee play, it is recommended to experiment in the shower for practical reasons.

V is for Voyeurism

Individuals who derive pleasure from observing others in their natural "naked" state or engaging in sexual activities may be referred to as voyeurs. Some individuals may even find the act of listening to others engage in sexual activity to be stimulating. However, it is important to respect the privacy and consent of others, and peeping Toms are not generally viewed favorably. Fortunately, there are alternative methods for indulging in voyeuristic tendencies that do not involve invading someone's privacy. For example, watching pornography is a popular option and there is an entire genre dedicated to this preference. Additionally, role playing or listening to erotic podcasts or audiobooks can provide a similar experience while allowing one's imagination to run free whilst enjoying this type of kink.

W is for Whip

The world of kink encompasses a wide range of tools for impact play, including crops, floggers, paddles, and canes, all falling under the category of whips. However, it is crucial to introduce these items safely by engaging in open communication before, during, and after use. To prevent any harm, it is recommended to target only the fleshy parts of the body while steering clear of bones. A nice peachy butt cheek serves as an ideal spot for some playful whipping!

X is for Xenophilia

Xenophilia, characterized by a fondness for the unfamiliar and exotic, includes a predilection for partners hailing from diverse countries and cultures other than one's own. It may also encompass a fascination with extra-terrestrial concepts or creatures, such as aliens. Essentially, xenophilia encompasses any culture that is distinct from one's own, making the term highly inclusive and expansive in its scope.

Y is for Yoni Egg

A yoni egg, or kegel ball, is a device shaped like an egg that is worn within the vagina, typically as a component of pelvic floor exercises. While the Yoni Egg and Kegel Balls were once considered more of a sexual health device, more frequently these days they are also incorporated into the world of kink. Once inserted, the yoni egg remains in place by tightening of the pelvic floor muscles. These eggs can be visually pleasing and are sold in crystal materials such as rose quartz, jade, and black obsidian. Kegel Balls are usually sold using body friendly materials such as silicone. Additionally, there are spiritual aspects related to yoni eggs for many users as they often incorporate crystals. While there is discussion regarding potential health risks associated with their use, it is important to research thoroughly before incorporating them into your Kegel routine.

Z is for Zelophilia

While jealousy is commonly linked to unfavorable sentiments, it's worth noting that this isn't always the case. Zelophilia fetish pertains to individuals who become sexually aroused by experiencing jealousy. Although this fetish can be handled in a positive and fulfilling sexual partnership, it can sometimes pose as a challenge to navigate.

 

Conclusion

Whatever your kind of fetish or kink, its pretty clear that there are others in the world on the same wavelength, as these are just a few of the fetishes and kinks that have become popular enough to be given names. At the end of the day, whatever sex act is consensual, well communicated and floats your boat should not be considered off limits.