What's All This Talk About Anal Sex?

Anal intercourse, or what is more commonly known as anal sex, is an increasingly popular sexual activity. Where once anal sex was considered taboo for heterosexual couples, these days sexual orientation seems to carry less importance so long as you have a receptive partner. If you decide to dive in and explore this as a part of your sex life, it’s important to understand the risks and rewards.

While you might immediately jump to the conclusion that anal sex is primarily penetrating the anus as a result of the insertion of a penis, there are in fact quite a range of options at your disposal, including other body parts like fingers and tongue, and there is also a significant range of sex toys specifically designed to enhance your pleasure in this domain.

Is It Safe?

Anal sex, like all sexual activity, isn’t unsafe provided appropriate planning, preparation and communication is maintained.

Things To Consider If You Are Going To Try It

If you’re curious about anal sex, it’s important to be well and truly prepared before you proceed. First and foremost, knowledge and communication. Understand what to expect, from yourself and, if with a partner, from them too. The more knowledgeable you are, and the more you talk to your partner about the experience, the more likely you will enjoy it. Its definitely not just a matter of taking the cock and inserting it straight into the asshole.

Here’s some things to know:

The anus lacks natural lubrication

Unlike the vagina, the anus and bowel does not produce any lubrication for sexual activity. When a woman is aroused, the vagina provides its own lubricant for sex. The anus, however, does not self-lubricate and therefore it is important to make sure you have plenty of lubricant handy. Ensure the penis, finger or toy is well lubricated before penetration, as penetration without lubrication can tear the delicate tissue inside the anus, potentially leading to an undesirable situation of pain and bleeding.

The anus has a muscle that must relax to allow comfortable penetration

For anal sex, it’s important that the sphincter muscles are relaxed. Not only does it make the whole experience more pleasurable, it reduces the risk of injury or discomfort. Relaxation involves patience from you and your partner. Starting slow, using smaller objects such as small sex toys or fingers may allow the introduction of objects to be staged over time, so you become more comfortable and progress at a pace that suits you.

Just like the rest of our body, the anus has bacteria

Our body contains billions of micro-organisms, of which bacteria make up a large proportion. Bacteria living in or near the anus can be easily spread if you don’t take steps to tidy up after anal penetration.

Best practice is to thoroughly clean any objects inserted in the anus immediately after removal, particularly if these objects, such as a penis or toy, are going to be in proximity to the vagina. It is not considered hygienic to switch the penis from ass to mouth for oral sex, as this will transfer the bacteria.

If your partner is wearing a condom, be sure to remove it and roll on a new one before moving on to vaginal sex. 

Common Concerns

For couples considering amateur anal sex, answers to these common questions might help you decide if it’s right for you.

Will Anal Sex hurt?

If done correctly, there is no reason it would hurt, however as a novice, you may still fumble with getting it right.

Remember, take your time, learn to relax into the moment by trying smaller sex toys to begin with. By taking your time and being relaxed you will improve the chances of having a relaxed sphincter muscle, which will make the initial entry much more comfortable. Always stop if it becomes uncomfortable, and be sure to communicate with your partner at all times regarding when it feels good and when not so good, and what is acceptable and what is not. Don’t give up, there are rewards to he had.

Is it normal to bleed?

It’s possible you may experience some bleeding in the beginning. However, once again, if you are taking your time and growing into the experience, there should be no reason for bleeding to occur. If bleeding does occur and grows worse each time, talk to your doctor. This could be a sign of an underlying concern.

Best Practice Safe Anal Play

Anal sex can be a great way to diversify and spice up your sex life, whether on your own or with your partner. As suggested earlier, planning, preparation and communication are paramount. If you are looking at this with a partner, make sure the two of you are on the same page about what you would like to do, how and when.

Safe Sex

The rules for sexual health apply for anal sex just the same as any other form of genital contact. Unprotected anal sex carries a high risk of sexually transmitted infections (sti) such as HIV, human papillomavirus, hepatitis as well as the increased chances of hemorrhoids.

Talk with your partner

As with any new adventure, you need to tell your partner your interest, and let the cat out of the bag. If the feeling is mutual, adventure awaits. If one of you decides anal sex just isn’t your thing, that’s OK. There are lots of options for spicing things up in the bedroom without adding anal sex.

Consider an enema or douche

If you want to consider hygiene and want things squeaky clean down there, you can use an enema or douche to clean the area prior to penetrative anal sex. See them here.

Lubricate, Lubricate, Lubricate With Lube

As discussed previously, the anus does not self-lubricate. For maximum comfort and pleasure, make sure you have plenty of water-based lube available at all times. Check out our range of lubricants and massage oils.

Trim your nails before the event

Reduce your risk of cutting or scratching yourself or your partner by trimming your nails. Long nails can tear the thin, delicate tissue of the anus, leading to bleeding and potential discomfort. Make sure you wash your hands well, paying particular attention to your nails after anal sex, too, especially before inserting them into the vagina or mouth, to ensure the prevention of transfer of bacteria.

Find a position that works

This may take a few different attempts, but finding that position that works for you is important. Just make sure that your partner is aware of the depth and pace at which he can proceed.

Make it FUN!

There are plenty of variations to anal toys and the use of sex toys can add some fun. Butt plug tails that have longer tails like pony tails or fox tails, or shorter tails like bunny tails. Anal plugs with gems are also common. Vibrating butt plugs, with or without remote controls can add some WOW to your anal play.  Anal beads are another option too.

Take your time and COMMUNICATE

Its important every time you intend to involve anal penetration in your sexual experience that you make time (10 to 15 minutes of foreplay) to prep or warm up. This helps you and all the muscles relax, which in turn makes the experience more enjoyable.

Take things slowly, use plenty of lubrication, and stop if it becomes too painful. Don’t aim to have full penis penetration your first time. Try using a finger or a smaller toy, and then upgrade to two or three fingers and maybe a bigger toy like a small dildo. We have a range of scalable (small, medium and larger) toys for you to work you through.

Yes, there will be fecal matter

This is inevitable when it comes to anal sex. Even if you wash or use an douche before penetration, there is a high likelihood of faecal matter or stool being present afterwards.

Clean Up Straight Away

You should never go from anus to vagina or mouth without cleaning up first. The transfer of bacteria from the Anus via vaginal penetration straight after can lead to unnecessary and unwanted infection such as a Urinary Tract Infection (UTI).

Can Anal Sex Lead to Orgasm?

For some people, the anus is an erogenous zone because the anus is full of sensitive nerve endings, so it’s very receptive to any kind of stimulation. For him partner, the tightness around the penis is certain to be pleasing as well.

For men who have sex with men, or men who use a sex toy for insertion into the rectum, the penetration stimulates the prostate gland in men, which has the potential to dramatically enhance a man’s orgasm. Not every woman will reach orgasm from anal sex, so other more tried and proven methods should still be used to reach orgasm.

The “Bottom” Line

If you are in a strong relationship where you feel comfortable talking about anything and everything, including what turns you on, or what you’re curious about trying, anal sex is just another way to explore your sexuality.

If you try it and you don’t like it, that’s ok. There are other ways to have fun, spice up your sex life, and enjoy one another. While ever the communication channels are open with honest discussion, you will be sure to grow together no matter what options you choose.